I read this today while getting my oil changed. Made me chuckle....
If you wait to long to marry your dreamboat, you may find, by the time you have made up your mind, your cargo has shifted.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated in algebra class because it was seen as a weapon of math disruption.
Climate: What you do with a ladder.
One cow to another talking under the shade of a tree: "I hear the budget will not be balanced until we come home."
Do those poker-playing dogs own paintings of humans playing Fetch?
Mushrooms always grow in damp places, and so they look like umbrellas.
Did you hear about the new baby camel that didn't have a hump? His parents named him Humphrey.
A policeman spots a women driving and knitting at the same time. Pulling up beside her, he shouts out the window: "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "it's a scarf!"
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